Today I had one of those moments that I always thought I would be able to avoid. I do yoga. I read Depak Chopra. I was really pumped about the birth of the OWN network. I am someone who purposefully tries to be in the moment and optimistic. And today, I completely lost my shit while “disciplining” my 3-year-old daughter.
Seriously, I think my tantrum was way more impressive than hers. There was yelling, stomping, and irrational and broad sweeping generalities like, “Why do I have to do EVERYTHING by myself?” and “I don’t CARE what you want. This is about what I want.” Sprinkle in a generous helping of expletives directed towards my nearby husband, and you have an accurate picture of the scenario.
This was far from my finest moment as a mother, let alone as a grown-up, and you’re probably wondering why on Earth THIS is the occurrence I choose to share as my, ‘Nice to meet you moment.” Here’s why. After my outburst, I put myself in timeout. I went to my car, turned the AC on full blast, and I cried.
And I wondered, “Why on Earth don’t women ever talk about THIS part of mothering?” The parts that make you think, surely I’m not the one who is really in charge and has to make the decisions. The parts that make you want to tap out. Sub, please.
Most of the “mommy” blogs I have read are heavy on the at-home sensory activities and extravagantly themed birthday parties. It’s like a highlight reel of crafting and potluck dishes. Don’t get me wrong. I like many of the ideas I read on these blogs. I’m down with organic foods and my kids eat quinoa. But they also throw temper tantrums in the Princess aisle at Target. Can we talk about that too, please?
Granted, there is a lot to be learned for our highlight reel mother moments. But there is also value in our stained yoga pants, Curious George for the third time today moments. Perhaps here is a place to share about mothering and living, for real.
for real living 
Well said!! New mom here, and already overwhelmed with the pressure I put on myself every day. I’ll be checking back on the regular!
Thanks, Lisa. That whole pressure thing is crap. I don’t know how to fix it, but I definitely know what you mean. Maybe someone else can figure it out for us…
Love it Clare…I couldn’t relate more to all of that as I sit here on my iPad with both kids watching yo gabba gabba so I can just sit for a moment:). Looking forward to reading more!
Glad to hear I’m not the only one is this sometimes wobbly boat. Thanks, Marnie!
A+++++++++++WAY TO GO CLARE!!!! I have moments daily that I want to lock myself somewhere and cry 🙂 I am glad I am not the only one!
Love you, Clare. Looking forward to this!!! You can do this!
After vowing to never let my kid watch any television at all before the age of 2, and to only feed her the healthiest home made meals, I eventually caved and started putting on Sesame Street and giving her handfuls of Cheerios on the days when I just can’t deal, and need to zone out and be a shitty Mom for a few minutes. Thank God for this blog. All the positive parenting stuff on the internet is wonderful, but goddamn, sometimes I need to know there are other well meaning moms having shitty days too. Thanks for writing this.
Thanks for the kind support, Lori. If handfuls of Cheerios make us shitty moms, I think we might all be screwed. We can do what we can do. And when we can’t, there is Elmo!
There is nothing harder on the planet than being a mom, especially of toddlers. I remember sitting in the middle of the floor crying..”I can’t do this one more minute.” Do ask for help, relief, or as you said; a “time out for your self” This is desperately important. Even to have the pleasure of grocery shopping alone is worth that down time, and do it very slowly!!.
Hahaha, you are not alone! I’m reading this as I hide out downstairs for some uninterrupted ice cream binge eating while my son watches the Goodnight Show!
I love your writing and can’t wait to get my fix here. This is the perfect topic too. For real. If you need any material, I’ve got some for days…
You know I know nothing about boys. You may have to be my resident boy expert. There is no pay for that position, if you were wondering. 🙂
It’s a true pleasure to read a blog that is genuine, fresh, and, well, real. I can’t wait for future installments!
Love. This. Idea.
And you.
So fun to read…especially because it wasn’t me :). But we all have our stories. Our recent one was with our 14 year old son and if he was going to audition for jazz band. We did nt handle that well at all!! Keep the stories coming. Laughter and Humor are the best de-stresser!
So parenting doesn’t magically get simple once they turn 10? Great. Thanks for the heads up, Jill.
Love it.
I love this! When my daugher was three we had a really bad day. I called my mom and apologized for everything I did wrong or thought of doing wrong. I had hoped my heartfelt apology would make her a better toddler, it didn’t work. Hang in there!
I’ll have to try the apology route – clear my Karma a bit. Good call, Jackie!
Thank you for this! Your writing made me laugh and feel connected! So fresh, funny, & real.
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As a working mommy trying to get ready to add baby #2 and stay home, I’m struggling with these same sorts of miserable mommy moments. (and just wrote about my own tonight: http://mysanityexperiment.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/temper-tantrums-not-just-for-kids/). You aren’t alone, which, Thank God! means I’m not alone either. Read everything you want about how to be a good parent, some days it just isn’t achievable.
Here here. Maybe we should organise a parent-mistake-amnesty day, where we can all just own up about the hard bits or the stupid stuff we do (daily, in my case).
Parent-mistake-amnesty day celebration should include a keg and pin the tail on the toddler.